A Great British Export…Not!

Though there were certainly many dark chapters in the history of British colonialism and the creation of  the British Empire, there are a number of positives that should not be forgotten. It's role in the spreading of democracy for example (though I guess that doesn't count for all those former African colonies that within years of becoming independent found themselves being run by maniacs and despots); the legal system; railways; cricket.
But in the second of my posts in the aftermath of the Commonwealth Games, I'd like to focus on what is, I feel, one of the less successful legacies of British colonialism - the shitty national anthem.

Come on, admit it. Nearly every national anthem that you heard being played in Glasgow (perhaps with the exception of the Home Nations, who interestingly didn't actually use 'God Save The Queen') was little more than a depressing, soul-crushing dirge that seemed more to mourn victory than celebrate it.

Take this one - now I'm not going to tell you which Commonwealth country it's from - that's for you to find out. But have a listen:

And here's another…

Oh yes, they're both very deep and meaningful, very serious and upstanding, but come on, they're not exactly uplifting (no offence to the nations involved). And I think that's because these anthems have been modelled on the British national anthem, which I'm afraid to say has to be one of the most depressing anthems ever written (no offence, your Majesty).

The solution?
I'm not really sure there is one, I'm afraid. The opportunity to bestow upon the world a legacy of bouncy, catchy, sing-along to, dance-along to national tunes was lost the moment the present UK national anthem was published in Thesaurus Musicus way back in 1744.
Of course, it may be possible that one day someone invents a time machine and travels back to that fateful day to undo the damage that was done (after dealing with a lot of more important 'bad-days' in history, such as the birth of Hitler); if they do, it would be nice to think that they'd go for something a little more upbeat, such as:

• Life in Technicolor by Coldplay but not the first minute and a half!!
• Is This the Way to Amarillo by Tony Christie
• Tubthumping by Chumbawumba

Feel free to make your own recommendations…and a bonus mark to anyone who can identify the two nations featured above!!

Look, it's my opinion...part 4

I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to blog about this week - maybe something topical such as the ongoing row in Gibraltar, maybe my thoughts on the naming of Peter Capaldi as the twelfth Doctor Who (which I think is fantastic), or perhaps a general comment about how annoying my laptop keyboard is becoming because the spacebarisn'tworkingproperly.

But yesterday evening, Fate decided to hand me my next blog subject matter on the proverbial platter in the shape of my old friend, Mr Unhappy Bunny.
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Mr Unhappy Bunny, I'd like to point you in the direction of my blog post of Saturday 6th April 2013, entitled 'Look, it's my opinion, not yours!' and its sequel on Monday 8th April, entitled 'Look, it's my opinion...part 2', and its sequel-sequel on Wednesday 10th April, entitled...well, I think you can work out the title for yourself.
It appears that Mr Unhappy Bunny, formerly known as OnlyLive0nce (and, as I mentioned in a previous post, that's not a typo, he really has used the number zero instead of a capital letter 'O' in his 'handle'), now known as Traveller3333333, forever known as 'moronic twat', has, for reasons known only to himself, sent me a message through TripAdvisor's now completely discredited private messaging mechanism to tell me:
See the latest review about that hole.
The woman is a complete idiot and terrible for business and the house is a tiny hovel, not a guest house.
I did say you were barmy to give it so many stars.
You need to get out more often, quite obviously....
In case you were wondering, he was referring to the Dee-Em B&B on Mull...again.

Now, I'm not sure where to start with this guy.
Firstly, it is evident that, after my last complaint to TripAdvisor, he has had to change his 'handle'...so what kind of fucking idiot, having done all that, then goes and sends an aggressive message to someone he's hassled before when it's obvious it's going to result in him having to go through the whole process of setting up a new account...again - what a dick!
Secondly, I have to admit that I'd completely forgotten both about him and his comments - nice to know that I myself have stayed so much at the forefront of his thoughts!
Thirdly, with regard to the comment of me needing to get out more often, I think I can rest my case on the fact that he's the one checking up on reviews of Dee-Em (okay mate, it was a bad holiday, but you need to move on!) and then sending out hate-messages when he sees a bad one.

Needless to say, I've put a block on this (and every other) tit with regards to my TripAdvisor messaging but, in truth, I have to admit that I'm sorely tempted to just pull the plug on my TripAdvisor account altogether.
Yes, I know, that would seems like I'm letting this knob get the better of me and maybe I am, but in all honesty, if I'm going to spend my time arguing with someone over the internet, I'd prefer to do it with someone who is not an utter turd and is capable of rational thought, and odo it ver something that is a lot more important than the rating of a B&B on Mull.

Of course,that would leave me with one less thing to blog about...