Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Please, save me from the BBC's coverage of the Royal Baby!

Now I don't want to sound churlish...actually, that's bollocks, because I actually do want to sound churlish...but not about the Royal Baby itself. Personally, I think it's great that old Wills and Kate have had a healthy baby, and good luck to them!
No, what I want to sound churlish about is the way the bloody BBC has gone absolutely and totally over-the-top in their coverage of the royal birth. I mean, we've got old Nick Witchell outside the hospital, musing about anything from the colour of the babies robes to what's happened to the royal placenta, endless interviews with various doctors and nurses (most of whom clearly had nothing to do with the birth), more correspondents outside Kate's parent's house and Kensington Palace giving their 'opinions' on things they can't possibly have a clue about, more interminable interviews with people who seem to have nothing better to do than stand around all day outside Buckingham Palace, an endless procession of 'quirky' stories about people with dogs named Wills and Kate giving birth to puppies on the same day (spooky) and how the birth is being celebrated by children on the Orkneys (as if anyone except the people on the Orkneys actually give a toss!), astrologers telling us what the prince's lucky number and favourite colour will be, blah, blah, blah...and then, to cap it all, we get the 10 o'clock news presented live from in front of Buckingham Palace because that £26 million studio that the BBC have just spent licence-payers money on simply won't do!
In the next few days, we will no doubt have to contend with a 1-hour BBC special in which various celebrities voice their vacuous opinions about the joys and pitfalls of parenthood, followed by a detailed analysis of the baby's features so we will know if he's going to have a bald patch before he reaches 30, then another BBC 'in-depth analysis' of what someone thinks the baby may be fed on, followed by yet another BBC 'in-depth analysis' on what the Royal nursery will contain (apart from a shed load of nannies), and so on and so forth, ad nauseum.

And then, just when you think it's all dying down and we can all return to some semblence of normality, the BBC will start gearing up for the Christening, with yet more pointless musings about possible names, what such names might signify, how the letters of the name, when re-arranged, actually spell out an address in Basingstoke...

I guess this all means that, for the time being at least, I'll steer clear of the Bouncing Baby Channel and watch something else instead.
I suggest, for your sanity, you do the same.