Thursday, 15 August 2013

Tales from the Urinal...Part 2

It is still, to this day, one of the most bizarre incidents I have ever witnessed.
It took place in the men's toilets at Manchester Airport...which does sound a bit dodgy, but bear with me.
I think it was some time in the late 1990s - I may have been taking one of my fairly frequent trips to Northern Ireland, but I can't be sure.
Anyway, I had settled myself down, standing at one of the urinals, enjoying the pleasant relief of a pre-flight bladder evacuation, when I noticed that the man to my right (two urinals along) was staring vacantly at the ceiling as he too availed himself of the opportunity to relieve his own bladder before taking to the skies.
The bizarre thing was that, in staring at the ceiling, he was leaning back a little, and in leaning back, he was merrily pissing all over the floor.
After what could have been ten or twenty seconds, he finished, whereupon he gave a little shake, tucked everything away, pulled up his flies and vacated the premises, leaving behind him a pool of piss on the floor and at least three other gents staring in total disbelief at what they had just witnessed.
I am pretty convinced that the man was absolutely oblivious of the fact that he had managed a full urination without actually getting any of his urine in a urinal. He may, of course, subsequently wondered why his shoes and the bottom of his trousers were damp.
To this day, I have no idea why I didn't shout 'Whoa, man, you're pissing and missing!'
I also find myself wondering how many times this man repeated his piss-pool-creating antics before either someone more bold/less shocked than I pointed out the nastiness of what he was doing, or he himself became aware of it. If he did notice it himself, how embarrassed must he have been.