Monday, 7 July 2014

Okay, So It's Shameless Self-Promotion!

The extremely diverse nature of the subjects on which I comment (politics, sport, religion, topical news, neighbours who are pillocks) has inevitably resulted in a very diverse group of simply stunning people who do me the honour of taking time out of their own, equally crazy existences to read my inane ramblings. Just remember, you are the best!
However, having such a diverse following presents its own problems - take today for example. I wanted to post an image along with this particular blog entry that would instantly catch people's attention…and yes, I have to admit, I was going to post Image 2 below…okay, I know it's sexist and could be construed as cheap titillation and debasing to women, but I just liked it because it was an example of utter ridiculousness, like a mankini…but without the man…
Anyway, I decided (somewhat against my nature, I must admit) that I needed to take more cognisance of the potential offence that images like two scantily-clad females in utterly bizarre almost-clothing could cause. That's why I decided to front this particular post (the actual content of which, I might add, has nothing at all to do with either image) with a cute kitten…because everyone likes a cute kitten (apparently!)
  
Image 1

Image 2
Okay, so now that either the cute little kitten or the truly disturbing female attire (which one of my friends suggested was 'just asking for an infection') has engaged you in this post, I can reveal the true purpose of today's ramblings - it's a shallow, some may think almost desperate attempt to remind you fabulous people that on the right hand side of the screen are links to what some readers genuinely believe are four pretty decent books written by my own fair hand…okay, not the one at the top, admittedly, because it doesn't look like anyone has actually read 'God, Aliens, Death & Teapots', even though it contains a story about a dog apocalypse, and one about how the Earth will ultimately deal with the threat of climate change…yeah, I know,  topical eh? There's some pretty deep philosophical shit in there which, if it'd been written by someone like Margaret Atwood, would undoubtedly have won a bucketload of awards by now…not that I'm bitter…
Moving on...
The other three books that can be accessed by just clicking on the colourful covers - Parts 1, 2 & 3 of The Book That THEY Do Nt Want You To Read - well, almost without exception on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com and Goodreads.com they've had very positive reviews (I say almost - it would have been nice to know what it was about Book 1 that Simon didn't like on Goodreads (he only gave it 2 stars), but as there was no written review, I guess I'll never know. By the way, rumours that I've had him 'whacked' are simply untrue!).
The most recent review of one of my books was from a fabulous individual in Oxnard, California:


Unprompted positivity - it really is the best!

So, dear blog readers, if you're stuck for something to read on your Kindle (other e-readers are available) this summer and want to be amused, amazed and disturbed all at the same time, then can I suggest you give The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read a look…I reckon that if everyone who followed this blog in the US bought a copy TODAY, NOW, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, I'd be able to make it into the top 100, which would be a real boost for my ego…!

However, if you prefer your literary enjoyment to come in small, bite-size morsels, check out 'God, Aliens, Death & Teapots' which, from my publishers (Autharium) website is FREE, but is also available from Amazon at the very reasonable price of $3.49, £1.99, 199 Yen, CDN$2.99 or €2,68. Please note that has already made it to No.8 in the Sci-fi bestseller list…in Spain…because my friend Javier bought a copy...

There, shameless plug for my books all done - thanks for sticking with it :)
Tomorrow, I'll be back to taking the piss out of something or someone!