An unwelcome achievement

To be honest, in spite of the fact that I haven't sold a shed-load of books (so far), I am still quite proud of the sales that I've achieved and the very positive feedback I've received from people who have kindly taken the time to read 'The Book That THEY…' (Sadly, no-one seems to have either bought or read 'God, Aliens, Death & Teapots, so we'll not speak about that book, shall we).
Unfortunately, in spite of the fact that, here in the UK, there's a steady stream of people dipping their toes into the madness that is my literary world and shelling out a few of their hard-earned shekels to download copies of 'The Book That THEY…', the same cannot be said for Across-the-Pond.
As a result, my current rating on Amazon.com's Author Rank measure (as opposed to .co.uk) is moving inexorably towards a somewhat unwelcome milestone:

So what does this mean?
Well, it means that Stateside, almost one million other authors have sold at least one of their books since I last sold one of mine (which was the 12th May, 2014).

Not that it's a competition or anything…

A million though…crikey…

And not that I'm trying to make anyone in the good old US-of-A feel guilty - after all, I want people to buy my books because they know they're in for a ripping yarn, not because they feel sorry for me…

Still…

:)

You just have to keep plugging away!

I just thought I'd give you all an update on how things are going in my efforts to find a literary agent who will represent me on the basis of how fabulous (and more importantly, commercially viable) my latest novel, Fractured Time, is.

Now, for those who don't know how these things tend to work, most agents request a synopsis, some sample chapters and a few words about an author's previous scribings as part of the submission. To date, I've only sent Fractured Time out to 8 agents (I don't subscribe to the idea of sending submissions to dozens and dozens of agents all at once - that could get messy), and their responses have so far fallen into the following categories of my highly technical, recently patented 'Submissions Response Evaluation System':

Level 1 - 0
Level 2 - 1
Level 3 - 2
Level 4 - 5
Level 5 - 0

I know - I should have included a bar chart or something, but that would be very, very anal.

So, a quick explanation of the Levels:

• Level 1 - the agent loves it so much they want to represent me (this is like finding the Holy Grail, reaching Shangri-la, going into Cadbury's World when not on a diet - its occurrence would result in me dancing wildly (maybe naked…) around whatever room I'm in, kissing and hugging whoever happened to be present - friends, you have been warned!).
• Level 2 - the agent is sufficiently intrigue by both premise and style to request to see the whole manuscript (this is fingers crossed, prayers whispered every night, cats and pigeons sacrificed on the altar of the writing gods sort-of-territory).
• Level 3 - there are positive words in what is, sadly, a negative response (these are the difficult ones, I guess - it's a bit like getting to the final round of Pointless, choosing UK Actors and getting the Films of Norman Wisdom - you feel you've achieved something in getting to that point, but in the end, it's a hollow victory and just another disappointment).
• Level 4 - just a 'No' or a 'Not Suitable for our Lists' (not much to say about these sorts of responses, I guess - pretty self-explanatory and there's really no other option than to roll with the punches (though I'd be lying if there wasn't the odd whispered curse or two).
• Level 5 - any response with words to the effect: 'Andy, your writing is shite - give up!' or 'Utter bollocks - snap your pencil, for fuck's sake!' (not sure how I'd react if I ever got one of these).

Putting things in perspective, the fact that I have already received a Level 2 response from an agent is a 100% improvement on the performance of 'The Book That THEY…', (where the interest of literary agents was conspicuous by its absence…sadly) so I guess I should interpret that statistic as a significant step forward.
And, let's remember, there's still over fifty literary agents yet to be contacted should my current Level 2 fail to progress to the Nirvana that is Level 1, so I'm still pretty optimistic…and as one of the agents from whom I received a response yesterday remarked:
You just have to keep plugging away

There's nothing quite like a good review

It's difficult to describe how much of a buzz you get from getting a really positive review of something that you've written - and because I got such a buzz, I'm going to take the opportunity to share it with all you fabulous people (in the hope, admittedly, that it may inspire you to a quick download!)

John's Review on Amazon

Below is John's review (and yes, I do forgive him for missing the T out of my surname!!)

Yes, I agree with the first reviewer of (concise version) THEY: it does remind you somewhat of the anarchic, wry wit of Douglas Adams. And that’s quite a recommendation. Although the author certainly doesn’t lazily ape another hugely successful writer’s style. This is Andy Richie writing and no one else. He has a highly individual voice that’s entirely his own.

I also agree that his characterisation is excellent – even Tukaal (is that a slightly rude play on words, like Dylan Thomas’s Llareggub, one wonders?) the alien. That’s because, rather than rush breathlessly along in frenetic mile-a-minute plot (it’s actually fairly sedate), the author allows plenty of dialogue, not to mention philosophical musings from protagonist Jethro, for the characters to develop.

And this certainly isn’t your average sci-fi fare, wherein you’re asked to totally suspend disbelief; it’s much smarter than that. In fact, it’s grounded very much on Planet Earth, in prosaic locations in the north of England, a little after the style of Wallace and Gromit, with many insights into the shortcomings of Homo Sapiens.

Introducing himself, named as Andy Richie, into the proceedings as a sort of ‘editor,’ was clever too, I thought, giving two layers of first-person narration.

But most importantly, the author met the first requirement of any storytelling; he piqued my interest. I always craved to know what happened next. So yes; I too will just have to read parts 2 and 3 now.

Congratulations Mr Richie; you done exceedingly good. And I’ll forgive you the typos, intentional or otherwise!

Part 1 of 'The Book That THEY...' is currently available at the incredible knock-down price of just £0.98 (or $1.66 in the US, €3.99 in Europe, 599 Yen in Japan, CDN$5.99 in Canada, etc.)
A bargain, wherever you are in the world!!

ps - Thanks, John!!
(here's John's Amazon site)

Okay, So It's Shameless Self-Promotion!

The extremely diverse nature of the subjects on which I comment (politics, sport, religion, topical news, neighbours who are pillocks) has inevitably resulted in a very diverse group of simply stunning people who do me the honour of taking time out of their own, equally crazy existences to read my inane ramblings. Just remember, you are the best!

However, having such a diverse following presents its own problems - take today for example. I wanted to post an image along with this particular blog entry that would instantly catch people's attention…and yes, I have to admit, I was going to post Image 2 below…okay, I know it's sexist and could be construed as cheap titillation and debasing to women, but I just liked it because it was an example of utter ridiculousness, like a mankini…but without the man…

Anyway, I decided (somewhat against my nature, I must admit) that I needed to take more cognisance of the potential offence that images like two scantily-clad females in utterly bizarre almost-clothing could cause. That's why I decided to front this particular post (the actual content of which, I might add, has nothing at all to do with either image) with a cute kitten…because everyone likes a cute kitten (apparently!)

  

Image 1

Image 2

Okay, so now that either the cute little kitten or the truly disturbing female attire (which one of my friends suggested was 'just asking for an infection') has engaged you in this post, I can reveal the true purpose of today's ramblings - it's a shallow, some may think almost desperate attempt to remind you fabulous people that on the right hand side of the screen are links to what some readers genuinely believe are four pretty decent books written by my own fair hand…okay, not the one at the top, admittedly, because it doesn't look like anyone has actually read 'God, Aliens, Death & Teapots', even though it contains a story about a dog apocalypse, and one about how the Earth will ultimately deal with the threat of climate change…yeah, I know,  topical eh? There's some pretty deep philosophical shit in there which, if it'd been written by someone like Margaret Atwood, would undoubtedly have won a bucketload of awards by now…not that I'm bitter…
Moving on...
The other three books that can be accessed by just clicking on the colourful covers - Parts 1, 2 & 3 of The Book That THEY Do Nt Want You To Read - well, almost without exception on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com and Goodreads.com they've had very positive reviews (I say almost - it would have been nice to know what it was about Book 1 that Simon didn't like on Goodreads (he only gave it 2 stars), but as there was no written review, I guess I'll never know. By the way, rumours that I've had him 'whacked' are simply untrue!).
The most recent review of one of my books was from a fabulous individual in Oxnard, California:

Unprompted positivity - it really is the best!

So, dear blog readers, if you're stuck for something to read on your Kindle (other e-readers are available) this summer and want to be amused, amazed and disturbed all at the same time, then can I suggest you give The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read a look…I reckon that if everyone who followed this blog in the US bought a copy TODAY, NOW, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, I'd be able to make it into the top 100, which would be a real boost for my ego…!

However, if you prefer your literary enjoyment to come in small, bite-size morsels, check out 'God, Aliens, Death & Teapots' which, from my publishers (Autharium) website is FREE, but is also available from Amazon at the very reasonable price of $3.49, £1.99, 199 Yen, CDN$2.99 or €2,68. Please note that has already made it to No.8 in the Sci-fi bestseller list…in Spain…because my friend Javier bought a copy...

There, shameless plug for my books all done - thanks for sticking with it :)
Tomorrow, I'll be back to taking the piss out of something or someone!

God, Aliens, Death & Teapots (published)

It's very, very pleasing that my 100th post on this blog should celebrate another of my literary creations being published.
Here it is:

A mix of seven short stories (some really short, some quite a bit longer, all of them awesome!).
And what's more, I'm benevolently making this available to my adoring fans for absolutely nothing - zilch - nada - zero.
Yes, that's right, it's FREE!
But what's this? I hear some cries of bewilderment from the capitalist cheap-seats - has Andy lost his mind?
Fear not, dear friends, there is a cunningness about this plan, for secreted at the end of those seven stories (which are all f**king excellent by the way) is an excerpt from 'The Book That THEY…'
Sighs of relief and appreciative nods may commence.
Of course I haven't lost my marbles. 'Tis but a clever marketing ploy to try to bolster the sales of 'The Book That THEY…' so that it creeps over the 100 sold mark (a psychological barrier indeed).
So, to all those fantastic people out there in Readerland who have been so kind as to take interest in this blog - download your copy now - from here: Download free for your Kindle from Autharium
It should be available on Amazon soon and it's already up on Goodreads, expectantly awaiting a rush of glowing reviews.
ENJOY!!

God, Aliens, Death & Teapots

That's right, folks.
Today I finally got round to finishing the proof-reading and last-minute re-writes of the seven stories that have gone into the little anthology of short stories that is God, Aliens, Death & Teapots.

God, Aliens, Death & Teapots - out for comment.

Okay, so I am hoping to use this as a crude marketing tool for the much beefier 'The Book That THEY…' by surreptitiously sticking a short extract from my uber-fantastic (even if I do say so myself) debut novel, but who cares?
It also gets what I think are a set of really quite good little tales out there in the wider world, and that can't be a bad thing, can it?
Of course not.
I think I'll give it a week or so and then look to see if I can get the book published for real.

If anyone wants to download and let me know what they think (the link is above), all comments would be gratefully received!

Over to you, Beta Readers

I read a blog a couple of weeks ago where a woman (sadly, I can't recall her name) was describing how she felt when she finished her latest book and sent it off to her 'beta readers' for their comments and critique. Now I didn't know what 'beta readers' were before I read this blog, but a quick look on wikipedia confirmed that a beta reader is:
a non-professional reader who reads a written work, generally fiction, with the intent of looking over the material to find and improve elements such as grammar and spelling, as well as suggestions to improve the story, its characters, or its setting. (which is useful to know, I guess).
Anyway, in this blog, there was a very good description of what it is I'm feeling this morning - a peculiar emptiness, a feeling of being a bit at a loose end, not quite sure what to do.
You see, I finished making changes to 'Fractured Time' over the weekend and, whilst I still think it may need just a little bit more polish, I had already come to the decision that I needed to get the whole thing out there so people can tell me what they thought of the entire plot (with all it's cunning twists and turns). I know I'd already had positive feedback on the first ten chapters, but I needed to know whether the whole thing worked. If it didn't, well, there's not much point in trying to further polish a turd, now is there.
So, on Sunday, it went out via the wonders of e-mail to Mags, Matt, Laura, Dan. Chris and Maddie…
…and then, well, suddenly, that was that.
Weird.
I'd spent the last eight months getting up early to write, staying up late to write, sitting in the study at weekends to write and re-write and then…BAM, there's suddenly a void, a big space that's got nothing in it (definition of a void, I guess) except, perhaps, anticipation and maybe a little bit of apprehension.

So what now (apart from waiting)?
Well, I think a few short stories may be called for, something that is going to keep the creative juices flowing and the literary creativity bubbling nicely, but is not going to be as all-consuming as a full-blown novel can be (besides, I have DIY to do which the good lady wife has been patiently waiting for).
Strangely, though, I find myself already thinking about what novel I might write next.
Hopefully, if all my beta readers think Fractured Time is simply fabulous and I can then get a literary agent or publisher to also think it is simply fabulous, then a new Sam McCall adventure may be in the offing. Alternatively, I did leave Jethro Postlethwaite sort of hanging there at the end of Part 3 of The Book That THEY…, so I could get on and write the sequel to that (which will be imaginatively called The Book That IT Does Not Want You To Read). Or I could have a shot at something a bit racy (Twelve Tears of Regret) or something a bit off-the-wall, such as The Curious Case of God vs Pratt.
So many options!!

One thing is for certain, though.
Over the next few weeks, that peculiar emptiness inside me is going to fill with more and more of that anticipation and apprehension. The question is, when it is finally transformed by feedback, will it turn into bitter, burning bile, or the sweet elixir of success?
Watch this space.

A Bittersweet Rating

It's a strange mix of emotions, receiving your first 'dis-satisfied' Goodreads rating.
In this case it was a 2 stars out of 5 for 'The Book That THEY…Part 1'.
My first emotion, I have to admit, was one of outrage. I immediately reached for that long list of people's names that I keep secreted away for the day I have enough money to hire a hitman. Hell hath no fury, I told myself, like an author scorned.
But then, once I'd got over the initial shock, I found myself thinking a little more rationally (helped by a good cup of tea and a couple of slices of toast). Rather than bemoaning what has happened, I found myself recognising (with surprising maturity) that receiving a less than glowing review, whilst undoubtedly disappointing, was not only an inevitability but was also something I should, in reality, be pleased about.
But how so?
Well, let's consider the perspective of inevitability. The moment anyone decides to share something they've created with the wider world (especially when said creation is something 'arty'), there must eventually come a point when someone takes a look at it and decides, for any of dozens of different reasons, that it simply fails to float their particular boat. It's not anyone's fault, it just is. That's the whole point of 'art' - different people like (and dislike) different things for all sorts of different reasons. With a book, dislike can sometimes stem from the reader preferring a different writing style (more or less description), or simply failing to connect with a character or engage with a storyline. Perhaps the reader is a sci-fi fan, but prefers the hard sci-fi of Poul Anderson, Isaac Asimov and Greg Bear, rather than the soft, comedic approach of Douglas Adams. Who knows?
The fact is that people can read the same thing and have a completely different opinion about it. That's life.
Which brings us to the point of why I should be, somewhat perversely, pleased.
Well, it's really quite simple. In order for someone to have decided that what I've written is not to their liking, they have at least to have read it. That, to my mind, is much better than the alternative - that they haven't read it at all.
So, whilst there is a little tinge of disappointment that I now have a 'dis-satisfied' Goodreads reader (who shall be known as Reader X to protect their identity), that disappointment is tempered by the knowledge that at least Reader X not only took the time to read 'They Book That THEY…Part 1', but that they also took the time to post a rating of it.
So, far from placing Reader X onto my hitman target list, I'd instead like to say a little thank you to them for at least showing an interest.

Now I'm going to go and find a cat to kick!

It's 2014!!!

Happy New Year, you fabulous people!!
May 2014 be a superb year for you and may you achieve whatever it is you set your sights on.

Well, it's been quite some time since I've posted on this blog, mainly because all my spare writing time has been devoted to 'Fractured Time'. As of today, I'm at about 95,000 words and I reckon I've got about a dozen more scenes to do (probably 15-20,000 words) before the first draft is finished. My target is the end of January for that and I'm pretty confident I can hit that.
Then the hard work starts - as I've been writing, the story has naturally developed, not only in relation to the plot (which is complex and, hopefully, thought-provoking), but also in relation to some of the backstory which I plan to make darker and more dystopian.
Then there's the way I'm writing - with The Book That They..., because it was in the form of a diary, there was very little description,very little scene setting and also very little dialogue. Fractured Time is different because there has to be a lot more of both, and that creates a new set of challenges.

I have to admit, though, that I'm really, really excited about this book - I think the sci-fi premise is unique, the crime story has enough twists and turns to keep murder-mystery aficionados happy, the main character is wonderfully flawed and, when I'm done, the prose will be mature yet very engaging.

The aim is to have the first draft done by January, the 'facts' and backstory firmed up by end of February, then the first 'readable' draft done by the end of April (just in time for holidays and walking!!). I've already got a number of guinea-pigs lined up to read through the first main draft (thanks guys!), and once I've taken their thoughts and comments into account, it'll be out to the literary agents and, fingers crossed, someone will like it.

The aim is to get this one published in hard copy.
All being well, I may be able to end the year by standing in Waterstones with a copy of my book in my hand shouting 'I WROTE THIS!!' until security eventually come and take me away!

Onward and upward

As many of you will know, one of my aims in life is to have a book published in hard copy by the time I'm 50 so I can walk around Waterstones in Bolton, waving it under people's noses, giggling maniacally.
Well, as things stand, it sadly doesn't look like 'The Book That THEY...' is going to be the vehicle that will carry me to that nirvana of dream-fulfilment, more's the pity.
Sales appear, in the last couple of months, to have stalled. Despite my efforts, it has failed to capture the interest of the many influential book reviewers on the interweb. And, in spite of the fact that I've had nothing but positive comments and reviews from all those who have read it, it hasn't grabbed the attention of any publisher or literary agent that just happened to be panning in the river-bed of e-books, searching for a golden nugget or two.
As such, it seems like I am going to have to accept that 'The Book That THEY...', as good as it may be, is destined only to ever exist in electronic form, and that I'm going to have to satisfy myself with knowing that, for a week, I was rated number 13 in the Sci-Fi list on Amazon (in Spain, admittedly).
Oh well, c'est la vie, as they say.

But am I downhearted?
Of course not, for I'm already halfway through my awesome new novel (that's 50,000 words of deliciousness, my friends) and getting a real buzz from creating the backstory, developing the setting, bringing life to the characters and twisting and twirling the plot.
And that, I guess, is the thing I need to remember.
It's okay to set myself a goal, but I mustn't let that goal become the be all and end all. Striving for something has got to be at least as enjoyable and fulfilling, if not more so, as the eventual achievement of it. If it's not, and the aim is never actually fulfilled (which realism suggests is a possibility for anyone looking to get a book published), then the journey will not have been a pleasure. It will have been a chore. And why would I ever want to spend my free time doing something that's a chore?

What to write...What to write...?

I was, the other night, informed that, according to someone who has recently finished reading Part 3 of 'The Book That THEY...' an 'evil bastard!'...but in a nice way.
Why?
Well, it has something to do with Part 3's ending...and I won't say any more on that particular subject for obvious reasons.
The comment has, though, left me wondering how the same person will react to the ending I've just drafted for the sequel 'The Book That IT Does Not Want You To Read' - more expletives from them, doubting my parentage perhaps? Oh, I really do hope so.

Interestingly, the wider positivity within which the 'evil bastard' comment was cocooned has confirmed that my decision to press on with the sequel was the correct one, and would not (as I had feared) be a waste of time - that would only have been the case if initial feedback from wonderful readers had been that 'They Book That THEY...' was utter crap! Fortunately, no-one has (to date) expressed such views.
However, what this decision means is that initial work on 'The Curious Case of God vs Pratt' (which my Mum in particular likes the first initial chapter of (and which I'm happy to send to anyone who wants a first glance at it)) will now be put on hold until the sequel is finished, and my other intended novel (Twelve Tears of Regret) will only start after 'The Curious Case...' is completed.
But, before any of that, I'm going to write a few short stories that I'm going to try to get published in ezines and magazines (starting with 'The Seven Questions of Daniel Keys') - I'm also going to write a few poems so I can enter the Manchester Poetry Competition this year - yes, I write poetry too!

Not sure why I felt the need to keep you all abreast of what I have planned on the writing front...but then again, this is my blog and I can just about say what the bloody hell I like...so there!

In all, I'm hoping to be busy, busy, busy!

And a quick note of congrats to Pash on his new job - well done, mate!

Happy Independence Day...and a Videoblurb!

Happy Fourth of July to everyone 'state-side', especially the fantastic people who regularly follow this blog! You are all brilliant!
Over here in Blighty, it is also the time of year when we forgive you for the fact that you're celebrating gaining independence from us, and the fact that your film industry still likes to stereotypically portray the British as villains (Die Hard, Cliffhanger (and John Lithgow is American!!), Pocahontas, etc.). On the plus side, you have given us The Big Bang Theory and the Bourne films.
Trust you will all have a great day!

But whilst the US of A gets into the holiday spirit, there are also a couple of other things to celebrate.
Firstly, this blog has now had in excess of over 2000 pageviews since it started back in March, and has been welcomed onto the computer screens, tablets and smartphones of people in over 30 countries around the world...and I'm pretty certain that more than half of them found the site deliberately (as opposed to 'by accident' whilst trawling the internet for porn or searching for '101 uses for a vaseline-covered feather duster').
My thanks also to Edward Snowden, whose probable visits to the site whilst in Hong Kong now mean there are regular pageviews from the NSA, CIA, MI6, FSB, MSS and the Disney Corporation.
But seriously, my sincere thanks to everyone who has done me the honour of taking interest in my musings, ramblings, moanings and groanings.

Secondly, last night saw the completion of the latest step in my ambitious, well-structured and largely ineffective marketing campaign for 'The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read.'
Yes, folks, the VIDEOBLURB is here!
'But what...' I hear some people cry in bemusement, '...the fuck (Obligatory blog swear-word) is a videoblurb?'
Well, follow the link below and see for yourself:

Videoblurb for 'The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read'

Yes, it's the blurb of the book...turned into a video!
Cool, eh?

(A special thanks to youngest daughter Emily who took time out of doing her own film projects to help me with it, in particular the 'nanites in the eyes' and the 'running down the alley' bits.
(By the way, feel free to check out Em's work at http://www.youtube.com/user/larrisaa1/videos and http://www.youtube.com/user/SpeltwithaT ). I would just like to confirm that she was in no way threatened with dis-inheritance if she did not assist me.)

So please check out my videoblurb (there will be a permanent link on the blog page) and let me know what you think.
Better still, share it with everyone you know, telling them it is likely to win the Palme D'Or for best short film at next year's Cannes Film Festival...
Better better still, get them to buy the book as well!!

And once again, Happy Independence Day!Independence

Support your local author...er, no

I guess at the outset of this post it is important to make clear that, in spite of the fact that 'The Book That THEY...' is perhaps the most fantastically inventive and brilliantly-written book of this and maybe every other century, I should not expect anything other than the slow maturation of global recognition of its superb-ness, like a giant stonking oak forming from the tiniest of acorns.
However, what I could have perhaps expected was a little bit more support from those around me...and by that, I definitely do not mean friends and family and likers and followers and buyers, all of whom have been really, really supportive to the point beyond brilliance (and I love you all)...no, what I mean is those potential avenues that could (and in my humble opinion, perhaps should) do more to promote what is a book by a local author (born-and-bred), featuring a very Lancastrian hero and set (for Part 1 at least) in and around the local area that is Darwen and Horwich and Manchester.
Yes, I'm talking about my 'local' promotional vehicles and outlets.
Like all books by anyone other than Dan Brown or J.K.Rowling, there is a need for the author to do their bit to promote their work, which is fair enough and I have no problem with that. One of the areas where such promotion usually bears fruit is the author's own geographical backyard, their local patch where their achievement can be lauded, celebrated and, yes, promoted by their own; I approached this opportunity with much enthusiasm.
Alas, the balloon of local expectation has been very quickly deflated by the forces of rejection and indifference.
For example:

• On the publication of Part 1, I e-mailed a certain free magazine about life in Blackburn with Darwen, asking whether it would be an article of interest - no response.
• I also e-mailed the local Blackburn newspaper (which shall, of course, remain nameless) - again, no response (it's the failure to respond which really narks)
• I contacted my local bookstore (you know, the one with the well-known brand of coffee shop inside it) to ask if, seeing as they sell my e-book on their web-site, they'd be willing to put a small notice up next to their Kindles highlighting the work of a local author - the manager responded (which is a positive) to say that they can't do anything like that unless told to by head-office; end of debate.
• Local book clubs - some have responded (thanks, Daniel), but most have not.
• There are other examples, but I won't bore you with them.

You see, my friends, what I find just a bit galling (and I don't want to sound all whiney here) is that so many of the possible avenues I have explored actually promote their own 'local-ness' as a virtue, as something that they are proud of and should be celebrated and, more importantly, supported; and yet, when something of genuine local interest comes along (as I think someone writing a sci-fi book set in Lancashire is), they are simply not interested.
To the raging cynic in me, it would appear that they flaunt their 'local-ness' only when it suits them, but ignore it if they see no benefit in it for them.
The worst example of 'not supporting your local author' comes from Lancashire Magazine (yes, I will name them). I contacted them to ask if they'd be interested in doing a piece about a book with a local hero written by someone who has lived in Lancashire all their life; their response was to say, possibly, but only if I took out a quarter-page advertisement at a cost of £395.
Naturally, my response was 'fuck that!' (though I was too nice to put that in the e-mail!)

The only silver lining I can provide on what, in my eyes at least, is a damning indictment of those who claim to be 'local' failing to support something genuinely 'local', is a potential interview in another local newspaper - however, the interview itself did happen five weeks ago and, as yet, nothing has made it into print.
I do, however, remain eternally hopeful and my positivity is undimmed.

'The Book That IT...' is born

When I finished writing 'The Book That THEY Do Not Want You To Read' in early 2011, I was very, very excited. I was convinced (naively perhaps) that I had written something unusual, something funny, something thought-provoking and, perhaps most importantly, something which I was pretty sure other people would enjoy reading.
Of course, by the end of 2011, my enthusiasm had all but evaporated under the disappointing weight of rejection letters that fell with disheartening regularity through the letter-box.
Clearly, even though I thought what I had written was good, nobody else did.
And so, as time drifted merrily on into 2012, I decided to hang-up my quill and ink-pot, place my one hard copy of 'The Book That THEY...' on a shelf in my office and leave it there to gather dust and become nothing more than a personal dream unfulfilled.
But then, shazam! Along came e-books and e-publishing and the super-duper people at Autharium and the opportunity to resurrect that dream and make it real.
And now, in mid-2013, all three parts of 'The Book That THEY...' are available on the interweb - a source of immense satisfaction (if not immense riches).
But, a source of greater satisfaction is the feedback that I've received, much of which has been very positive, even from those for whom sci-fi is not normal reading. Not only is the story of Jethro Postlethwaite being well received, but also my style of writing is...and that, my friends, is uber-satisfying indeed.
In all honesty, if I'd have been told by my peers that the story was good but my writing was shit, I'd have snapped my quill and vowed never to scribe another word again.
If I'd've been told that the writing's okay but the story is rubbish, then I'd've drawn a line under the misadventures of Jethro Postlethwaite and moved on to something new.
It's because I've had such positive feedback about both writing and storyline that I've decided (much to my wife's chagrin, no doubt, because there are DIY jobs to do and they will get done, I promise) to press on with the sequel to 'The Book That THEY...', which I have imaginatively entitled 'The Book That IT Does Not Want You To Read.' Clever, eh?
Now this is going to disappoint my mother who has read the first few draft pages of 'The Peculiar Case of God vs Pratt' and thinks that has real mileage, but that, I think, can wait.

So, it's been a weekend of scene planning, of pulling together all my notes on 'IT', of realising that I'm going to have to study things like spectral-phase-shift, melancholia and string theory...
...and I'm very, very excited again!

Let the scribing begin!!

I know it's not about the money, but...

Well, the day has finally arrived!
Hoorah!!!!
All three parts of my magnum opus are now available on the world-wide-web for the delectation of discerning readers everywhere - links to the right, folks!
Initial feedback has been very positive, even from those for whom sci-fi is not normally a genre into which they would venture.

But, if I'm honest, the gloss of my success has been besmearched just a little by the antics of those 'nice' people at Amazon (the non-corporation-tax-paying commercial behemoth).
Put simply, Amazon are the only retailer of e-books that levy a charge for the download of an e-book. That charge is based, apparently, on the size (in kilobyte terms) of the e-book. Now, because Part 3 of 'The Book That THEY...' contains a lot of appendices which have tables and graphs and stuff like that, it is fairly hefty in size, to the point that, if I am to sit in Amazon's 70% royalty bracket, they will charge £2.38 for the download. It doesn't take a mathematical genius to work out the following:

£2.99 - 20% VAT - £2.38 download charge - 30% Amazon cut = fuck all for the author or the publisher.

As a result of this, my publisher has had to put Part 3 in a different royalty bracket where there is no download charge - unfortunately, this particularly bracket only pays 30%, which gives us the following equation:

£2.99 - 20% VAT - £0.00 download charge - 70% Amazon cut = £1.12, of which I get 85%.

Not exactly a fortune, is it?
But, then again, it's never really been about the money, has it?
I mean, let's face facts - if I wanted to find a time-effective way of making oddles of dosh, spending countless hours writing a novel that has little chance (in spite of the fact that it is fucking brilliant!) of becoming an international bestseller (which is the only time the author actually gets oodles of dosh) would not be high on your list.
It would certainly be below:

• dealing drugs
• becoming a gigolo
• robbing a bank
• working in the financial services sector

No, my writing is about something more than money.
It's about experiencing the satisfaction of being able to look at one's own creation and, yes, it is about enjoying the warm glow that comes with positive feedback from my peers.
It's about realising an ambition.
So, I guess I shouldn't let those bastards at Amazon dim the glow of triumph that I should feel as I bask in the knowledge that something which I have written is being read (and, by all accounts, enjoyed) by people all over the world.

A bit of extra dosh wouldn't go amiss though...

A writing dilemma

Hmmmm.
A fairly introspective blog this morning as I wrestle with a writing dilemma.
With the impending publication of Part 3 of 'The Book That THEY Do Not Want You to Read', and following my recent visit to Knoydart where I intend to set a portion of the sequel ('The Book That IT...'), my creative juices for scribing the further adventures/misadventures of Jethro Postlethwaite are now well-and-truly flowing again.
And yet, I have been seriously enjoying the early stages of writing 'The Peculiar Case of God vs Pratt' and am equally excited by the prospect of this piece of work.
But I don;t have the time nor the mental capacity to write both at the same time!
So which do I choose?

Oh God!!!
Decisions!!!!

Several minutes of deep thinking later...
I think what I'm going to do is write up the diary entries for JP's time in Knoydart whilst those memories are still fresh in my head and then see how things progress from there...

Yes...

That's what I'll do...