Friday, 26 April 2013

Invention of 'Mr McCormick's Bum Detector' denied

Yes, my friends, Her Majesty's Prisons have denied in the strongest possible terms (which menas it must be absolutely true) that inmates at several UK jails have been secretly working on their own 'Mr McCormick's Bum Detector' so that when the creator of the worthless, death-inviting piece of crap (yours for only $40,000) joins them at their tax-payer-funded holiday camp for the rehabilitation of offenders, they'll be able to give him a proper, law-breaker's welcome.
Unconfirmed reports from some prisons suggest that early prototypes of the Bum Detector have remarkable similarities to McCormick's own discredited gizmo. They are held in the hand somewhere just below the waist, can elongate when required, be pointed in a variety of directions, are water-proof (so good in showers) and can put up with being banged about or squeezed into dark places and tight orifices.
There is a likelihood, however, that unlike McCormick's useless piece of ex-golfing shite, the Mr McCormick Bum Detectors that are currently under development will be far more effective in locating that which they have been designed to find.
Let us hope so.