Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Why Mr McCormick deserves to be butt-f**ked in prison

[WARNING - This post contains some strong language, so those who are easily offended are advised to replace the word 'fuck' with a loud beep whilst reading]

I have to admit, this story of monumental gullibility and deplorable corruption just beggars belief, and I'd have a grudging admiration for the man in question if the consequences of his actions had not been so bloody terrible.
As it is, he really does need to be well and truly ass-whipped by the legal system so that he can spend a few years hoping he doesn't drop the soap in the prison showers.
Having read all about the way Mr McCormick sold 6,000 bomb detectors to the Iraqis, making a cool $50million in the progress, only for the bomb detectors to turn out to be nothing more than shitty golf-ball detectors that couldn't detect diddly, I'm left with a very simple question:
Why did nobody check whether the fucking things worked?????
I mean, come on, it wouldn't have been too difficult, would it - get a few cars, put a bomb in one of them then see if the thing goes 'beep' when it should.
For pity's sake, how hard is that?!?
And even if gullible idiots and corrupt bureaucrats ensured it was never tested before it went into the field, you'd have thought that some of the people who were actually using it would have checked it out on the quiet - by Christ, I know I would have, especially if my life depended on it...which it pretty well would do.
But no, no-one seems to have looked at what is nothing more than a car aerial with a fancy handle in a big, plastic case and said:
'Hold on a exactly does this thing detect bombs? I mean, look at it! It looks like the sort of thing which gullible golfers with too much money would buy to find lost golf balls...'

And if all that wasn't bad enough...the silly fuckers are still using them...
I know, I just can't believe it either, but there was footage on the BBC News yesterday of a policeman walking through traffic in Baghdad, pointing his 'bomb detector' at passing cars and lorries like it was some kind of magic wand and, because the piece of plastic shit stays silent, he's blithely waving through cars and trucks that an hour later will blow the arms and legs off innocent women and children...

And that, Mr McCormick, is why you so need to spend every day of your prison sentence being butt-fucked in the prison showers...