Saturday, 4 May 2013

May the Fourth be with you...always

Happy Star Wars Day, people, and may the Force be with you...always!

Firstly, the bad news.
There's something in Star Wars that really winds me up:

Have a listen to  the 'toodangerous.wav' file in the above link, paying particular attention to what Obi-Wan says:
"And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise."

Now, can anyone explain to me why, in every subsequent scene in Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, those same Imperial Stormtroopers that Obi-Wan was singing the praises of, suddenly aren't able to hit jack-shit. For example, when Luke, Han, Leia and Chewie are running to the Millenium Falcon to get off the Death Star (just when Obe-Wan gets done-in by Old Vader), count how many shots the Stormtroopers get at them, and not a single one of them hits!!
Who are these guys? A group of Stormtrooper trainees? A little pack of Imperial interns?
Whoever they are, they're rubbish!!

Perhaps it would have been a whole lot better if, down on Tatooine, Obi-Wan had actually said:
"And these blast points, all over the fucking place, worse than Sandpeople. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so shit."

Secondly, the good news.
There's also something in Return of the Jedi that never fails to cheer me up:

'Nuff said.